FAKE! Just like your nails, your smile and my compliments, this food is not real

Seat Savers can be used to keep people from stealing your chair. Just put one on your seat and it will be waiting for you when you return. Handy when you need to prevent some asshole from stealing your seat when you need to go get that second bottle of Vodka look for a job.

I always put one on my face when I take a nap in the park (HA! F*ck you crazy-old-fat-lady from the park).

Who's Bad? Michael Jackson drinking vodka with midgets on his lap

Don't Stop 'till You Get Enough. He be chillin' with his midgets.. I mean, portable girlfriends. Apparently these are little dancers. Which adds a whole new dimension to the beautiful art of 'lap dancing'' if you ask me. Also: Stranger In Moscow my ass Michael.